The Ordinary Life Of Emily Jane

it feels odd and evil

and bilingual is… painful now

I’m trying not to listen

*lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala*

not asking, I am telling you I am in crazy amounts of pain. As you were talking to me on the phone this morning I was wondering if all this is worth it, just like last night I was wondering how trazadone would taste with vodka. And now when my sink is clogged and you want me to write some piece of crap that barely existed for a reason to fill my fucking void of a life now it is a surprise that its only one line of crimson drying now on my wrist. maybe i’m not submissive. maybe i just need to grow up and stop using masters as parent subsitutes. im so close to saying fuck all this shit. fuck being collared, fuck matt, fuck me being manager of some stupid club that i cant even have a final say in. I am so full of anger and i don’t know where to put it.

i see long sleeves in my future

Matthew Bullis: Can we talk now?
Gen: I’m working through some things right now.
Gen: can I get back to you later?
Matthew Bullis: Of course, I just needed to make sure you where safe and ok
Gen: safe yes, ok… tbd
Matthew Bullis: I’m working tonight…always fun to have you there
Gen: don’t think i’m gonna make it. got stuff to do outside of SL tonight.
Matthew Bullis: Ok
Gen: I wil talk to you later
Matthew Bullis: Yup
Matthew Bullis: I’m here
Matthew Bullis: Just be safe

Gen: I’m not going to give you a seizure, right?
Matthew Bullis: Nope
Gen: ok, just checking
Matthew Bullis: Just worried about you

Matthew Bullis: Are you ok?
Gen: I can’t talk to you.
Matthew Bullis: Ever?
Gen: i doubt ever
Gen: but not right now
Matthew Bullis: Gen…
Gen: I can’t
Gen: I just can’t
Matthew Bullis: If you want I’ll just leave…
Gen: I will find you when I need to talk
Matthew Bullis: I’ll stay up all night till your ready
Gen: it wount be that soon
Matthew Bullis is typing…
Matthew Bullis: Then I’ll never sleep
Gen: Matt…
Gen: I have to go.

doll did not expect You to see it. to be honest she didn’t see it till it hit her over the head. but now doll is stuck. doll thought she had it under control. But she was horribly mistaken and now is begging for forgiveness.

doll is unhappy. And it took another man in doll’s life for her to see it. doll never did get her question answered in class, the difference between a need and a want. And the gray area has been killing her. What if doll needs more than Sir can give her? doll has been leaving out the little things. that was her mistake. How do you tell the difference between actually needing something and just being needy? doll has swallowed things for the good of her Master and her Family. she thought she could handle it. maybe doll is more like Kay than she thought. doll doubts You would be happy to know that doll gets a bit angry every time You talk about girl or spending time with her. she hardly seems like a part of the family and as horrible as it is, doll does not like sharing Your limited time with someone who is never around. doll doesn’t know how to make You happy and tries to make herself happy in the absence. but it is hard to know your place and stay there when to often your brain is screaming “What about me?” doll knows she should be grateful for what she has. she has grown so much since she met You and does not believe that there is anyone she would give You up for, including the man she has been desperately been trying not to fall in love with. But what if doll can’t be what You need her to be? doll has been so lost and confused and has no idea what to do. all doll can see is You locking her up again, doll screaming and crying in emotional anguish. what if doll was kidding herself, thinking she could actually submit to someone. Even if nothing happens with him, what about the next one, or the one after that? doll is not that strong. doll does not know what to do. she is only sorry to have disappointed You, sorry that she is having such a hard time being the girl that You deserve.

this class did not give doll the same uplifted feeling… more like she needs to act more like a sub and less like a girlfriend. doll has been focused on doll when dolls primary focus should be Sir

always, first and foremost

as a sub it should make doll happy to make sir happy and doll has been slacking in her service. Ask not what Sir can do for you but what you can do for Sir.

can you feel the guilt rolling off doll, the tears right behind?

doll can tuck herself in.

[2011/03/06 12:28]  Alter Humphreys: hi
[2011/03/06 12:28]  Alter Humphreys is Online
[2011/03/06 12:28]  Genevive Romanas: hello
[2011/03/06 12:28]  Genevive Romanas: wanna know somethin creepy?
[2011/03/06 12:29]  Alter Humphreys: sure
[2011/03/06 12:29]  Genevive Romanas: See Lily over there
[2011/03/06 12:29]  Alter Humphreys: yes?
[2011/03/06 12:29]  Genevive Romanas: lol
[2011/03/06 12:30]  Genevive Romanas: that is the rl sister you have heard so many nice things about
[2011/03/06 12:30]  Alter Humphreys: I see.
[2011/03/06 12:31]  Alter Humphreys: I was expecting “that is my master, cross-playing” or something. You actually did manage to surprise me
[2011/03/06 12:31]  Genevive Romanas: ummm no
[2011/03/06 12:31]  Alter Humphreys: and now apparently there is a pileup? lol
[2011/03/06 12:31]  Genevive Romanas: i like you and she is… a follower?
[2011/03/06 12:31]  Alter Humphreys: I see
[2011/03/06 12:32]  Alter Humphreys: still, personal space much?
[2011/03/06 12:32]  Alter Humphreys: I may just go sit on the ceiling
[2011/03/06 12:32]  Alter Humphreys: :p
[2011/03/06 12:32]  Alter Humphreys: so are you telling me this so I can ignore her/give her a wide berth, or do you want me to be friendly, or what?
[2011/03/06 12:32]  Genevive Romanas: your choice
[2011/03/06 12:33]  Genevive Romanas: just telling you
[2011/03/06 12:33]  Alter Humphreys: copy
[2011/03/06 12:34]  Alter Humphreys: well, have fun? maybe you’ll get her to loosen up or something
[2011/03/06 12:35]  Genevive Romanas: would you like to dance?
[2011/03/06 12:35]  Alter Humphreys: I thought the rule was conservatively G.
[2011/03/06 12:35]  Alter Humphreys: I don’t think that’s a good idea, honestly.
[2011/03/06 12:35]  Genevive Romanas: yes
[2011/03/06 12:35]  Genevive Romanas: i can still dance
[2011/03/06 12:36]  Genevive Romanas: and have hugs
[2011/03/06 12:36]  Alter Humphreys: I still don’t think it’s a good idea.
[2011/03/06 12:36]  Genevive Romanas: ok
[2011/03/06 12:36]  Alter Humphreys: nobody gets to have it both ways. :)
[2011/03/06 12:43]  Alter Humphreys: I’ll probably poof out soon. hope all is well anyway
[2011/03/06 12:44]  Genevive Romanas: you too
[2011/03/06 12:46]  Alter Humphreys: thank you
[2011/03/07 20:51]  Autoresponse sent to Alter Humphreys.
[2011/03/07 20:51]  Alter Humphreys: you’re coming to Shelter more lately.
[2011/03/07 20:51]  Alter Humphreys is Online
[2011/03/07 20:51]  Genevive Romanas: *nods*
[2011/03/07 20:51]  Alter Humphreys: sorry, guess I should leave well enough alone. Cheers.
[2011/03/07 20:57]  Alter Humphreys: should I un-contact you?
[2011/03/07 20:57]  Genevive Romanas: YOUR CHOICE
[2011/03/07 20:58]  Genevive Romanas: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SEEMS BOTHERED
[2011/03/07 20:58]  Genevive Romanas: oops
[2011/03/07 20:58]  Genevive Romanas: caps fail
[2011/03/07 20:58]  Genevive Romanas: badly timed caps fail…
[2011/03/07 20:58]  Alter Humphreys: was wondering about the yelling.
[2011/03/07 20:58]  Alter Humphreys: slightly.
[2011/03/07 20:58]  Genevive Romanas: my bad
[2011/03/07 20:58]  Alter Humphreys: understood/appreciated, no hard feelings on that count.
[2011/03/07 21:01]  Alter Humphreys: I dunno. we don’t seem to have much to say anymore.
[2011/03/07 21:04]  Genevive Romanas: true
[2011/03/07 21:04]  Genevive Romanas: and the back and forth is… exasting
[2011/03/07 21:05]  Genevive Romanas: Exausting*
[2011/03/07 21:06]  Alter Humphreys: I should just not talk to you.
[2011/03/07 21:06]  Genevive Romanas: we gave it a shot
[2011/03/07 21:07]  Genevive Romanas: time to know when it is over I guess
[2011/03/07 21:08]  Alter Humphreys: yeah, and you have a great big life that’s perfectly fine without me. :)
[2011/03/07 21:08]  Alter Humphreys: tho technically speaking, hasn’t it been over since August?
[2011/03/07 21:13]  Genevive Romanas: no clue
[2011/03/07 21:13]  Genevive Romanas: wasnt keeping track

friendship dissolved by doll
[2011/03/07 21:23]  Autoresponse sent to Alter Humphreys.
[2011/03/07 21:23]  Alter Humphreys: bye, then

[19:05:13]  Anastasia Forsythe: “When the combinations of all needs are met through the Dominant mind, the true satisfaction of the submissive need is met from her strengths to endure, to overcome and to heighten her every sense of being.”
~ Amber
[19:05:46]  Anastasia Forsythe: Let’s take a look at the definition of selfishness first:
[19:06:00]  Anastasia Forsythe: Selfishness: devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others
[19:06:29]  Anastasia Forsythe: As many will begin to think, this is not what submission embraces.
[19:06:31]  Tempest Hermit is Online
[19:06:43]  Keaira Karas: hi Tailz :)
[19:06:51]  Anastasia Forsythe: As many will begin to think, this is not what submission embraces.
[19:07:05]  You decline Poetry Corner at Rune’s Ramblings from A group member named Rune Draegonne.
[19:07:09]  Jennys Willful: IM me when you get bacvk
[19:07:12]  Tailz24 Resident: hi :)
[19:07:25]  Anastasia Forsythe: For the most part I am here to agree and this is what we will explore this evening.
[19:07:48]  Anastasia Forsythe: However, before I proceed I need to state something that may not be obvious and is a necessity to a submissive/slave at times.
[19:08:12]  Anastasia Forsythe: It is true that we in submission have an obligation to our Dominants to serve. On the other hand, it is also our obligation to not only our Dominant but us to ensure that our needs are being met.
[19:08:37]  Anastasia Forsythe: I have mentioned in the past how sensitive we in submission are and how we allow our own needs to be set aside while we tend to our Dominants and others in our lifestyle circle.
[19:08:58]  Anastasia Forsythe: Our needs are separate from our wants but our basic needs besides basic life needs also include adequate attention to maintain a healthy mental balance. There will be times when we need to properly remind our Dominant of this need, as we cannot always depend on our Dominant to figure it out by themself.
[19:09:23]  Tahlia Snoodle: Bravo
[19:09:31]  Roque Balfour is Offline
[19:09:38]  Anastasia Forsythe: Yes all, your Master and/or Mistress is not a mind reader
[19:09:49]  Genevive Romanas agrees, nodding.
[19:09:49]  Unity Mistwalker: smiles and nods
[19:09:51]  Sephrenia Twine gasps
[19:09:52]  Anastasia Forsythe: trust me i have tried that theory :)
[19:10:04]  Roque Balfour is Online
[19:10:11]  Lenny Charron chuckles
[19:10:16]  Anastasia Forsythe: Now, if our basic needs are being met there will be times in our relationship where guidance from our Dominant will be lacking due to them going through a difficult period which would.
[19:10:52]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes again , shocking but Dominants struggle also - they are after all human O.o
[19:11:22]  Anastasia Forsythe: When the lack of guidance – feeling of domination – begins to dissolve or relax we in submission often begin to fight feelings ranging from insecurities to frustration. Sometimes with those feelings we lose sight of the Dominant and their struggles and let selfishness creep in distort or blend our wants into needs.
[19:11:57]  Anastasia Forsythe: A good Dominant, regardless of life issues, will always ensure the basic needs are being met to those who have submitted to them. However, beyond that Dominants do experience their own struggles and we must not only respect that but strengthen ourselves to help them through those times.
[19:12:00]  Lenny Charron: shhh you’ll spoin our reputations
[19:12:09]  Asia Starfall: C
[19:12:16]  Asia Starfall: c/Q
[19:12:21]  Keaira Karas: lol
[19:12:26]  Ichie Kamachi is Online
[19:12:39]  Anastasia Forsythe: Miss Asia?
[19:13:02]  Asia Starfall: YEs Selfishness is in everyone at all times…a sub is selfish as they serve to fulfill their own needs
[19:13:03]  Grace Jovinavic is Offline
[19:13:09]  Asia Starfall: so how can one not be selfish?
[19:13:17]  Tahlia Snoodle: C
[19:13:32]  Asia Starfall: ((love stirring the pot))
[19:13:57]  Keaira Karas smiles
[19:14:04]  Anastasia Forsythe: there is healthy selfish and unhealthy - as is tated in the beginning - we must possess a certain level but it must be kept in check so we do not lose focus on serving
[19:14:09]  MeeshMow Coy is Offline
[19:14:15]  Anastasia Forsythe: Tahlia?
[19:14:24]  Tahlia Snoodle: A sub who has submitted for the right reasons is there to fullfill the Dominants needs before their own, and this sub will know, that even if its the last thing on the ladder, they will recieve their part that they desire.
[19:14:44]  Anastasia Forsythe: ahlia”
[19:14:53]  Lizzo Dreamscape is Online
[19:14:54]  Keaira Karas: when we fulfill our own needs, we’re going to do a better job at whatever we’re doing
[19:14:56]  Anastasia Forsythe smiles, “excellent Tahlia”
[19:15:05]  Tahlia Snoodle smiles
[19:15:07]  Anastasia Forsythe: exactly
[19:15:16]  Asia Starfall: but you fulfill that need to serve hence selfish
[19:15:26]  Asia Starfall: one can say that
[19:15:46]  Asia Starfall: but how do you draw a line between healty adn unhealty Ana?
[19:15:55]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes but some distort needs and wants
[19:16:01]  Francois Gearz is Online
[19:16:15]  Keaira Karas: we all need our needs fulfilled. a slave woldn’t be a slave unless it’s what made her happy
[19:16:36]  avantgarde Frequency is Online
[19:16:47]  .: EM :. Heart Bouquet Tips (PTm): Asia Starfall tips Anastasia Forsythe and receives a spray of butterfly kisses, “thank you for the generous tip!”  Thanks!!! Asia
[19:17:10]  Anastasia Forsythe: personally Miss Asia - if basics are being met and as i will discuss later - a proper decission has een made on choice of Dominant - selfishness should be kept in check and not used to cause added stress or unruly behavior
[19:17:27]  Ichie Kamachi is Offline
[19:17:27]  BellaSprie Resident: Yes we are all in this to have our needs met but when we as subs put our needs above caring for out Master is where there can be an issue.
[19:17:46]  BellaSprie Resident: If we are being cared for we need to do the same
[19:17:46]  Anastasia Forsythe nods
[19:17:51]  Anastasia Forsythe: Time and attention received from our Dominants is such a precious gift we receive from them. When those things are limited during time of struggles it is easy for us to forget that we are here to fulfill their needs and that ours will be met as a result of fulfilling their needs.
[19:17:56]  Asia Starfall: awwww so levels of selfishness
[19:18:00]  Asia Starfall: go on
[19:18:10]  Anastasia Forsythe: thank you Miss Asia
[19:18:15]  Asia Starfall: :)
[19:18:32]  Anastasia Forsythe: Which brings the question out again of, “what about me? If I am fulfilling their needs always – how can mine be met?”
[19:18:42]  Anastasia Forsythe: Consider this::
[19:19:14]  Anastasia Forsythe: Hopefully you have taken your time and have chosen the right dominant to serve – one that will most fulfill your needs. So if we have done that and serve as we should we will reap the benefits.
[19:19:48]  Anastasia Forsythe: Many things can trouble your Dominant: exhaustion, physical health, financial concerns, etc. We must remember the role of our Dominant is immense as not only are they handling their own life, through your submission they are now handling yours as well.
[19:20:13]  Anastasia Forsythe: Moreover, depending on the level of control handed over to your dominant concerning your life they will now handle any disorder that reflects in yours. As in any relationship the stress will build and it is then we must not let the harboring of insecurities and doubt within us to become unleashed.
[19:20:38]  Keaira Karas: it’s kind of like which comes first, the chicken or the egg….but the truth is, if our first concern is to please our owner, it’s becuase it fulfills a need we have. nobody’s going to do something that makes them miserable.
[19:20:52]  Anastasia Forsythe: When our patterns and habits are changed within our lifestyle with our Dominant. When time and attention begin to fade from our Dominant, what questions arise in our minds?
[19:21:00]  Anastasia Forsythe: right kea :)
[19:21:18]  BellaSprie Resident: Am I wanted? Needed?
[19:21:27]  Alter Humphreys is Online
[19:21:32]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes Bella
[19:21:51]  Genevive Romanas: a sense of being lost
[19:21:57]  Anastasia Forsythe: any other questions come to mind?
[19:21:59]  BellaSprie Resident: Can I do better?
[19:22:05]  Anastasia Forsythe: exactly Gen
[19:22:24]  Tanny Cianci: Am I doing enough to please Master?
[19:22:28]  Anastasia Forsythe: right Bella…”what is rong with me?”
[19:22:32]  Anastasia Forsythe: *wrong
[19:22:35]  Lenny Charron: one I have heard is “what have i done wrong/differently?”
[19:22:46]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes Tanny, y!
[19:22:51]  Anastasia Forsythe: exactly Master
[19:23:09]  Anastasia Forsythe: another…”do i not make him happy?”
[19:23:29]  Genevive Romanas: does he like my sisters better
[19:23:39]  Asia Starfall: this could be a question asked by both D and s
[19:23:41]  Anastasia Forsythe: oh Gen…yes poly
[19:23:55]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes Miss it could
[19:23:59]  Anastasia Forsythe: When these questions and concerns come to our mind we need to remind ourselves to be patient and relax.
[19:24:19]  Anastasia Forsythe: These feelings are natural as the panic sets in but we need to stay focused on our role and remember that life happens and balance will return to the us and the relationship as soon as it balances within the dominant.
[19:24:31]  EmmaRose Boucher is Offline
[19:24:47]  Anastasia Forsythe: It will not be easy at times and a concentration on the long term relationship will be needed. Your submissive heart should shine bright during these times – what an opportunity to serve in submission when your dominant needs you most. You can do it – just remember by bringing in that selfishness you will only cause additional and unneeded stress.
[19:25:07]  AlexCrimson Romanas is Offline
[19:25:11]  EmmaRose Boucher is Online
[19:25:28]  Anastasia Forsythe: Many of us – myself included – when feeling insecure wish nothing more than to be at the feet or in the lap of their Dominant.
[19:25:47]  Anastasia Forsythe: However, when times like these occur we must find other outlets to relieve your stress over the situation.
So what can we do instead with ourselves?
[19:26:10]  Genevive Romanas: journal?
[19:26:14]  BellaSprie Resident: I write and often share with D
[19:26:14]  Anastasia Forsythe: and personally i know kea has a list…i hear them often :)
[19:26:23]  Keaira Karas: LOL
[19:26:24]  Unity Mistwalker: go to classes, dance, plan events, learn our Master’s interest…read, imrpove
[19:26:25]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes Gen Journalling!!!
[19:26:28]  EmmaRose Boucher is Offline
[19:26:36]  amber Asadar is Offline
[19:26:36]  Anastasia Forsythe applauds Flower
[19:26:45]  Unity Mistwalker: I KNOW CAUSE I DO THEM
[19:26:52]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes Bella writing..love it
[19:26:53]  Unity Mistwalker: and that is NOT the answer
[19:27:04]  Unity Mistwalker: we are still alone, filling up the empty time
[19:27:22]  Asia Starfall: C
[19:27:28]  Anastasia Forsythe: talk to friends
[19:27:28]  Unity Mistwalker: it does not relive the self doubt
[19:27:49]  Unity Mistwalker: relieve*
[19:27:56]  Genevive Romanas shakes her head agreeing with unity
[19:28:10]  Anastasia Forsythe: no it does not…you can aso communicate - calmly and respectfully to your Dominant
[19:28:19]  Anastasia Forsythe: Miss Asia?
[19:28:26]  Asia Starfall: OK this might sound silly
[19:28:28]  BellaSprie Resident: sometimes reading other subs blogs and connecting with others close to you makes you realize that we all go through this and therefore not alone
[19:28:42]  Anastasia Forsythe winks at Bella
[19:28:43]  Keaira Karas: yes bella!
[19:28:51]  Asia Starfall: but when you are feeling lonely or useless….if you are free to do so or you can ask for permission…go help a new SL player or new Submissive
[19:29:02]  Asia Starfall: by helping another you recharge your self esteem
[19:29:07]  Keaira Karas: i like that!
[19:29:12]  Anastasia Forsythe: yay Miss Asia!!!
[19:29:22]  Keaira Karas: nothing helps more than helping soemone else
[19:29:27]  BellaSprie Resident: like that
[19:29:29]  Asia Starfall: redirect your self feelings adn make it positive
[19:30:13]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes and as mentioned it does not take those feelings away - but helps you to cope
[19:30:27]  Asia Starfall: returns balance
[19:30:29]  Asia Starfall: :)
[19:30:54]  Anastasia Forsythe: but i MUST stress open communication during this time in the relationship…you may not get your feelings resolved but it allows your Dominant to understand your mind
[19:31:11]  Anastasia Forsythe: Create a serene and safe atmosphere for the dominant to voice concerns and share problems.
[19:31:32]  Keaira Karas: just by saying it out loud, prevents it from controlling you
[19:31:32]  CatWoman Sweetwater is Online
[19:31:51]  Asia Starfall: communication that should be a given..you must be able to express all of your feelings
[19:31:55]  Anastasia Forsythe: true kea
[19:32:09]  Anastasia Forsythe: You will only be able to help if you have all the facts. You need to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. Let your dominant know through your words and actions that he/she has nothing less than your full support and that you have his/her needs in mind.
[19:32:15]  Asia Starfall: great point Keaira
[19:32:19]  Genevive Romanas: i keep a journal for for just me and my D/s family to read
[19:32:48]  Genevive Romanas: i can put down things that are hard to say or need to say but can’t find the right time
[19:33:09]  Genevive Romanas: that way, my Master can read it when he has time.
[19:33:15]  Anastasia Forsythe: So question to the group….how long do you wait while your DOminant struggles….
[19:34:20]  Anastasia Forsythe: Is it acceptable for a Dominant to expect one to wait weeks/months/a year?
[19:34:21]  Niki Curtau: as long as it takes to sort out your feelings, and inform as soon as possible to keep communication open
[19:34:44]  amber Asadar is Online
[19:34:51]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes Niki
[19:35:05]  Sephrenia Twine: untill it becomes unhealthy for yourself
[19:35:10]  Genevive Romanas: it depends on the person on how long a wait is acceptable
[19:35:20]  Asia Starfall: YES perfectly said Sephrenia
[19:35:26]  Keaira Karas: i agree with seph
[19:35:32]  Genevive Romanas: we all have different limits
[19:35:35]  Anastasia Forsythe: we must be able to accept change…but we must remember to ensure that basic needs - including mental health are met
[19:35:36]  Mahala Larimore is Online
[19:35:45]  Anastasia Forsythe: excellent seph
[19:35:58]  Lenny Charron: depending on the Dominant….even saying somthing like “i need to sort out my fellings so i can better help/serve You better” or something like that is acceptable
[19:36:15]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes Master
[19:36:57]  Anastasia Forsythe: There are even D/s relationships that have morphed for a time to vanilla while theDominant balances themselves again
[19:37:32]  Anastasia Forsythe: In conclusion, it is times such as these that remind us that our Dominant is not the only one responsible for our mental well-being – our happiness.
[19:37:47]  Anastasia Forsythe: Although we submit to another we will always be responsible for basic needs – those including as mentioned earlier mental wellness. Our Dominant should be there to nurture, guide and protect to the best of their abilities.
[19:38:01]  Anastasia Forsythe: Our dominant as we have mentioned in previous discussions is not there to fix us or make us happy.
[19:38:16]  Mahala Larimore is Offline
[19:38:18]  Anastasia Forsythe: Life happens and that we will never control – just as we struggle within our journey, so too will our Dominant and it is then we must remember our place, relax, be patient and serve.
[19:38:37]  Anastasia Forsythe: Are there any comments/questions?
[19:39:01]  Asia Starfall: where is the bathroom?????
[19:39:04]  Asia Starfall: hehehehe
[19:39:06]  .: EM :. Heart Bouquet Tips (PTm): Keaira Karas tips Anastasia Forsythe and receives a spray of butterfly kisses, “thank you for the generous tip!”  Thanks!!! Keaira
[19:39:07]  Genevive Romanas: how can you tell the difference between a want and a need?
[19:39:10]  Keaira Karas: LOL
[19:39:11]  Anastasia Forsythe: LOL
[19:39:22]  Anastasia Forsythe: Thank you all for joining us this evening. If there are no further comments/questions we will conclude. Please check out our website for the exciting things occuring at the Dark Side this month - including our kick off events for Relay for Life SL! Transcripts of this discussion as well as all past ones held our located in our library directly behind me.
[19:39:25]  You paid Anastasia Forsythe L$50.
[19:39:25]  .: EM :. Heart Bouquet Tips (PTm): Genevive Romanas tips Anastasia Forsythe and receives a spray of butterfly kisses, “thank you for the generous tip!”  Thanks!!! Genevive
[19:39:36]  Sephrenia Twine: sorry, i find for me i normally end up going too far the other way, i am so worried about pleasing that i forget it is ok to have needs and wants that are my own
[19:39:39]  Anastasia Forsythe: Thank you all…most kind and very apprecited
[19:39:42]  Lenny Charron: down the hall, first door on the left
[19:39:44]  .: EM :. Heart Bouquet Tips (PTm): Sephrenia Twine tips Anastasia Forsythe and receives a spray of butterfly kisses, “thank you for the generous tip!”  Thanks!!! Sephrenia
[19:39:50]  .: EM :. Heart Bouquet Tips (PTm): BellaSprie Resident tips Anastasia Forsythe and receives a spray of butterfly kisses, “thank you for the generous tip!”  Thanks!!! BellaSprie
[19:39:51]  Anastasia Forsythe: i understand that seph :)
[19:39:53]  Asia Starfall: OHH doll a want and a need……that is a WHOLE topic in itself
[19:40:08]  .: EM :. Heart Bouquet Tips (PTm): Tanny Cianci tips Anastasia Forsythe and receives a spray of butterfly kisses, “thank you for the generous tip!”  Thanks!!! Tanny
[19:40:08]  ??? kisses, .: EM :. Heart Bouquet Tips (PTm) back
(¯`v´¯)
`.¸¸.´
[19:40:11]  Anastasia Forsythe: yes Miss Asia…a very large topic and often heated :)
[19:40:13]  Geoff Seorn is Online
[19:40:33]  .: EM :. Heart Bouquet Tips (PTm): Jennys Willful tips Anastasia Forsythe and receives a spray of butterfly kisses, “thank you for the generous tip!”  Thanks!!! Jennys
[19:40:44]  Genevive Romanas: is there no guidline for that?
[19:40:46]  Keaira Karas: it would be a great topic!
[19:40:52]  .: EM :. Heart Bouquet Tips (PTm): Unity Mistwalker tips Anastasia Forsythe and receives a spray of butterfly kisses, “thank you for the generous tip!”  Thanks!!! Unity
[19:40:57]  Asia Starfall: you can need to want something but you can not want to need something
[19:41:08]  Anastasia Forsythe: i like that :)
[19:41:09]  Asia Starfall: yep that covers it
[19:41:13]  Asia Starfall: hehehehehehe
[19:41:20]  Genevive Romanas is confused
[19:41:37]  Sephrenia Twine: lol what are teh differences between needs and wants for a slave and a sub…….now that will be a confusing discussion
[19:41:41]  Keaira Karas: Asia, have you lead discussions?
[19:42:01]  Asia Starfall: NO i jsut come and mess them up..I like playing devils advocate
[19:42:06]  Asia Starfall: that i:)
[19:42:16]  Anastasia Forsythe: it is great having you Miss Asia …we enjoy it
[19:42:16]  Asia Starfall: :)
[19:42:18]  Keaira Karas: LOL well it gets a discussion moving
[19:42:34]  Asia Starfall: ·*·.Ⓣⓗⓐⓝⓚ•Ⓨⓞⓤ★
[19:42:34]  Asia Starfall: awww
[19:42:45]  Anastasia Forsythe: now if we can get seph dressed
[19:42:50]  Keaira Karas: lmao
[19:42:55]  Luna1987 Resident: rotflol
[19:43:05]  Anastasia Forsythe: hi MIss Jennys :)
[19:43:08]  Lenny Charron: nah, i like the “outfit” she has on now
[19:43:11]  Sephrenia Twine logs out and tries to log back in with the SL viewer
[19:43:15]  Tanny Cianci: Thank you Ana, be well A/all
[19:43:15]  Sephrenia Twine: brb
[19:43:16]  Anastasia Forsythe: we all do Master
[19:43:17]  Jennys Willful waves
[19:43:27]  Anastasia Forsythe: ty all again for coming!
[19:43:37]  Coz Okelly is Online
[19:43:45]  Anastasia Forsythe: Be well and have a wonderful evening
[19:43:47]  Asia Starfall: thank you ANA a wonderful well thought out discussion!!!!!!
[19:43:54]  Anastasia Forsythe: ty Miss
[19:43:59]  Unity Mistwalker: very good discussion
[19:44:00]  Asia Starfall: as always
[19:44:01]  Genevive Romanas: Thank you Ana
[19:44:02]  Asia Starfall: ♥
[19:44:03]  Anastasia Forsythe: wb Bozzra Sir
[19:44:13]  Anastasia Forsythe: ty Gen!!! great comments tonight
[19:44:21]  Lenny Charron: wb naked one
[19:44:23]  Genevive Romanas: Thank you
[19:44:25]  Anastasia Forsythe: Flower..love having you here always :)
[19:44:35]  Keaira Karas grins at seph’s still naked butt
[19:44:37]  Genevive Romanas: The begining was a bit hard
[19:44:41]  Bozzra Resident: ty Ana
[19:44:48]  Sephrenia Twine grumbles
[19:44:55]  Genevive Romanas: fighting back the tears
[19:45:18]  Anastasia Forsythe: awww Gen…you are free to IM me if you wish:) would love to talk -
[19:45:23]  Lenny Charron: seph, the lindens have decredd you will be naked tonight
[19:45:40]  Anastasia Forsythe: first time i can say i lov the lindens
[19:45:42]  Sephrenia Twine: lol i think so, and i hate this viewer so let me try agian
[19:45:53]  Genevive Romanas: would have to ask my Master before extending friendship
[19:45:58]  Keaira Karas: ana has started what we call Healing Hearts. She’s a great counselor and is here for anone who needs help
[19:46:13]  Anastasia Forsythe: understand Gen…. :) here anytime

I fucking give up. I’m pissed and angry and in pain.Just when I thought this infection couldn’t get any worse I started bleeding from the inside. I don’t know if I am hemorrhaging inside too or I have the worst timed period ever but this is more than I can handle right now. My mood swings are out of control and I can’t focus. This shit is making me even needier which is bad since you have even less time now that you have the job fail.i feel so hopeless and miserable. i want to yell and scream and and cry them pass out and not wake up for a week and a half. All I have left is the pass out part. Can you spare some of that potion Juliet? I could use some. Till then doll is better bound up lest she hurts someone

especially herself